Can it be six years?

Dennis Neil Ousey: June 14, 1947-December 16, 2005. Gone too soon.

Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart
and bids it break. ~William Shakespeare

A Cloud in My Heart

Today I wanted to go to the cemetary but was unable to go. I still miss him profoundly. Today it is 1365 days without him. Next month, December 16, 2011 will be the six year anniversary of the day he left a big hole in my heart.

Gone - flitted away,

Taken the stars from the night and the sun

From the day!

Gone, and a cloud in my heart.~Alfred Tennyson

Five Years

Hello to all who knew Dennis Ousey. Today is the fifth anniversary of the day he died. We still mourn our loss. He was a good man and many are missing him.

This morning I honoured him by listening to a podcast of a debate on the question: Islam is a religion of peace. I know he would have been very interested in that. I am just sorry that he is not here so we can talk about it and express our own thoughts on the question. If you want to listen, here is a link. But be warned it is lengthy, about an hour and a half. I cannot paste a hyperlink to this website, so here it is: http://www.atheistmedia.com/

This afternoon Joel and Remy and I are going to the cemetery and we may go for a trip up Grouse Mountain, a trip he enjoyed in the past. I hope to post pictures either here or on Facebook.


Death leaves a heartache no one can heal; love leaves a memory no one can steal ~ from an Irish headstone.

Another Anniversary

I went to Mountainview Cemetary yesterday. I cleaned the moss off the stone front and left a rose on the little shelf under his niche.

Then I sat in the spring sunshine by the fountain and re-read my journal and wrote a little. It was 1534 days since he died.

Today is the anniversary of our wedding. Forty-three years ago the first time we married in 1967, or, if you prefer, 23 years since the second time we wed in 1987. We loved each other so much we got married twice. But I have loved him for almost 45 years.

One thing that happened recently - Suzie, our beagle, who was given to a friend's family had to be put down because she had cancer. It was the loss of another link with him. And I am sorry for little Dominique who lost her much loved pet.

I continue to take care of my graddaughter four days a week. She is eighteen months old now and it is delightful to see what new word or behaviour she comes up with. My daughter said recently, "I think I will always, for the rest of my life, regret that Dad never saw my daughter." Yes, my joy is also always tempered with that knowledge.

I am tired, my Beloved, of chafing my heart against the want of you... Amy Lowell

Going to Visit Pa

Dennis Ousey June 14, 1947-December 16, 2005

Margot, Remy and I went to see grandpa at the cemetery today. Remy calls him "Pa." It was freaking cold and raining cats and dogs. We didn't stay long. Then we went shopping. A little retail therapy never hurts.

It has been 1472 days since he left us. There are many people out there who miss him.

In honour of the fourth anniversary I went back to read a few Prairie Dog Blog postings. I went back to December 2004. The first posting to come up was so typical of him. He was really concerned for the people of Asia who were victims of the Tsunami. I still donate to MSF (Medecins Sans Frontieres) in his honour. Then I read the one he posted on Dec. 16, 2004, one year before he died. I recommend it to anyone who knew him. His voice still sounds loud and clear. A little politics, a little humour, a little family news. It is so him. The world is a poorer place without him.

Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, the present and the future. Gail Lumet Buckley

Death Cannot Stop True Love

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. ~ Lao Tzu

Sadness, Happiness, Sadness

Gordon Denis Comeau

August 31, 1923 - February 8, 2009.

These pictures were taken the last time I visited my father at the Ridgewood Personal Care Home in Saint John New Brunswick. I am struck by how old he looked and how much he looked like his mother, my grandmother Comeau. She was 86 when she died, too.

My father had been sick for a long time and it was no surprise when my sister phoned me to tell me he had died. He left us a bit of a mess, because we can't find a will, so we are trying to get my cousin appointed to look after his affairs.

We will put his ashes in the ground beside my mother in Ottawa. My sisters and I will have a little graveside ceremony in the summer after the ground has thawed.

My father was born into an Acadian french family and in order to make it easier for him to get a job, he was encouraged to speak only English. I regret that our family lost the French language. He was the youngest of six children and his father died when he was about 14.

My father joined the RCAF in 1939 when he was only 16 and a half. Apparently he lied about his age because they only took 17 year-olds. I've seen a picture of him in those days and he was quite handsome with his blonde hair and blue eyes. He spent WWII in northern England as an aero-engine technician. It was quite uneventful. My father told me the only time there was any bombing at the airfield where he was stationed he was away on holiday.

When he returned from Europe he met my mother and they married on August 3, 1946. My parents had a total of 8 children, but three died in childbirth or were stillborn. We moved around every few years as my father was transferred by the RCAF.

My father was a UN peacekeeper in the Congo in 1960. My family went to live in Germany in the late 1960s for three years but I had already met and married my husband Dennis by then so I was no longer at home. He retired from the Air Force and lived in Ottawa with my mother until she died in 1990.

In recent years he had many health problems and was diagnosed with dementia in 2006. He lived the last few years of his life in the city where he was born, Saint John, New Brunswick.

I think about the good times we had as a family, birthday parties, camping, going on trips. His death has made me remember and feel again the loss of my mother and my brother, Gordie.

Upcoming sad days for me - tomorrow, Feb. 16, 38-month anniversary of Dennis' death. And Tuesday, Feb. 17 would have been our anniversary. I have lived 1168 days without him and still not a day goes by that I don't miss him.

I apologize to my friends for letting so much time go by without a blog posting, but I have been extremely busy getting Sapphire Studio set up. We now have our first 6 month renter and a possibility of two more. This is excellent news. We may be able to start paying the bills.

We had a celebration of our opening last Friday and a good time was had by all.

Other happy news is that my sister is buying a business she has had her eye on for several years. It is a ladies' consignment clothing store called Classic Closet. I am really really happy for her and wish her well in her new venture.

One never knows what life will bring. Sadness and happiness and sadness in the same week.

What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal. ~ Albert Pike