Last night we went to the Van Dusen Botanical Gardens for the Honour A Life ceremony. It began with music and a slide show. The music was touching and made me cry. We wrote messages of love to our missing ones on Christmas decorations (plasticized cards). We lit candles and went in procession to one of the trees in the garden where we hung our Christmas decorations on a tree. I had also printed up some pictures of Dennis, my mother and my brother and we added those to the decorations. The procession through the garden wound among the lighted trees that they call The Festival of Lights. The lights were fantastical. Some of them changed colour. Some were wrapped around tufts of grass on the ground. Lights played on a fountain. It was indescribably beautiful, like some wonderful fairyland.
The Prairie Dog would not have been happy to hear the references to god in the program. Just because it is "non-denominational" doesn't make it inoffensive. He would have been offended. But I was happy to be there. Many of my bereavement group friends were there and my daughter, son-in-law and sister. It is good to be able to share our losses in community. So I ignored the religious references.
But, in order to be all-inclusive there should be no mention of religion or god in the program. I am an atheist and a humanist and proud of it. Atheism is not just a lack of religion. It is faith in the present, faith in nature. It is faith in the ability of human beings to love and take care of each other. I do not believe in anything supernatural. There are wonders enough in the natural world for me. And wonders enough created by humans...like the Festival of Lights.
I don't know whether I will have time to post more entries this week because I will be quite busy between work and moving. But on December 16 I will remember. I know many of you will too. This video doesn't really relate to this festive time of year, but it is him, so here it is.
Dennis Ousey June 14, 1947-December 16, 2005
He was a man who loved controversy, practical jokes and family.
